#MusicalMondayMemories #1: Viola

I recently looked through the YouTube videos that come up when I search my name, and came across this, the only time I ever performed on viola! Where are we all now? I make my living playing violin, and moving to Maine in July with no connections has helped me appreciate that music has had an insanely huge impact on my inner workings.  

To start exploring the impact of musical experiences, and to share sounds and words with you, I’m starting this blog, #MusicalMondayMemories. You can see it on my website each Monday or read it through my email newsletter, Instagram, or Facebook. In honor of the vast amount of choices we have, I’m making it accessible to plan it into your week or stumble upon, whatever you choose. 

The ideas of focus, creative impulse, stick-to-itiveness; I am just now delving deeper and deeper into these on a personal level. I’ve always felt numbed by hours of screen time in the 13 years I’ve had a regular internet connection - Facebook, binge-watching TV shows, and the like - and yet I’m sure I’ve spent thousands of hours not fulfilling the questions in my head because I convinced myself I felt engaged and entertained. 

My goal with #MusicalMondayMemories is to create a chain of memories, share them with the world outside my head, and take myself through the process of writing about my music-making over the years since high school. I appreciate the hashtag capabilities and hope to hear from others about their own musical lives, so if any of you want to share as well, please do! 

I have loved to read since I was young, and writing has been a huge part of my life for years. I’m just starting to want to bring it from the recesses of private journaling into the realm of sharing. Music, words, nature, conversations, hugs, breathing - these are the things I cherish most. I did a podcast last year with 33 short episodes (Mundane Mondays: the Minute Podcast will start back up in a few weeks to bring more m-related words to my Mondays), and this year I’ve delved into some fiction writing more seriously, as well as personal essays. 

For the memory at hand, I was 16, on my gap year, and had just spent 6 months mostly away from home during the summer and fall of 2009. A variety of experiences stemmed from my time at Interlochen Arts Camp in Michigan and the Woolman Semester (outside of Nevada City, California), but looking back I was often sleep-deprived and holding on by sheer will, and it has taken a full 10 years to process these supremely busy and somewhat fun times. 2010, when this video was from, was the beginning of me saying yes to things not because I was always invested in the music but because I thought I should play everything.

Only in the darkest moments of 2018 did I really start to think about the future as a time for exploration rather than a time to do everything anyone asks me to do while forgetting about my dreams. I’ve had plenty of fulfilling musical experiences over the years, but the ideals of fulfillment and personal engagement in the preparation process weren’t at the forefront of my musical world. Now here they are, in my head every day, ready for me to move on and make art.