#MusicalMondayMemories #4: the dimensions of the inner sanctum

Art is powerful. It creates worlds that nothing else can, even our dreams. Our waking mind takes part in the art, and whether it is visual, literary, auditory, or a combination, we each have our own experience of a piece. I have been very lucky to work regularly with some intensely dedicated musicians/composers over the years. I may not have appreciated them fully at the time, but as I look forward to a future with music, I’m looking back and gleaning from what I have experienced, figuring out what I need to keep my soul soaring. 

Now for the composer at hand today - Brett Carson. I've played several of Brett’s beautiful and intriguing works during and after my time at Mills College, and this week’s leaping off point is the solo violin piece he wrote for my senior recital in 2014, "The dimensions of the inner sanctum as articulated by another iteration of TZ (Paramecium)." There are many noises, melodies, gnashing of teeth (just kidding), and a speaking section in the middle. In another piece of his, a song cycle for voice, violin, percussion, and piano titled "Mysterious Descent," we chanted and played kazoos, so it's always a good time. 

While it was a pleasure to work with composers in my almost 9 years in Oakland, Brett's complex visions in particular impacted me deeply. I keep finding new things to grasp onto in his pieces. Like Bach and Mozart, they keep getting harder and more fascinating with time. I will return to this solo piece in the coming few years when I prepare an album (which I’m slowly coming to think will be a good plan, a whole new thing to dive into).

It didn’t occur to me as a kid that you could create a whole world in your head with music, jumping beyond the sound itself into an entire way to orient yourself. Brett has created languages, mythologies, and much that makes it wondrous and exciting to jump into his projects. It is also a joy to work with someone who wants to get to know your instrument better, no matter how good of a musician they are already, and it’s a bonus when they have nicely formatted scores every time. 

When he was accompanying me in school, we also played such classical pieces as Schnittke’s 3rd violin sonata - for the performance we both wore normal concert clothes plus high-top green Converse shoes! I might never know what drives Brett as a composer, not that it’s ever possible to explain that, but he is a passionate musician who has made an impact on me, and I am excited to hear more of his works over the years. 

As a professional musician, it's amazing the difference between a muddled brain and a hyperfocused one, and then of course there is everything in between. You don't want to be phased by mistakes in performance, to make an apologetic face or allow the drive of a piece to drop because you feel distracted or take a mistake personally. Instead, you want to give all pieces of music the respect they deserve, and stay there with them no matter what might happen. 

I'm starting to think of big picture vs small picture as being a spectrum of perspective, which is both weird and inspiring. I always thought I was too nitpicky and not oriented to the whole enough, but spending so many years on details without thinking intentionally about perspective has really helped me appreciate the power of concentration, and the variety of things you have to consider. It seeps over into consideration of movies, books, everything really. Here’s hoping that context always keeps building, and that the high-grossing pop music out there gets better!